Our Savior

Last night I was thinking about Garrett and the life and spirit that he is. I was also thinking about a friend of mine and how his son was having some headaches and his wife took him to the doctor. After a few tests it was confirmed that he had some form of cancer. I then started thinking about all the times Garrett has had a hard day and how he will grab his head and say he is having a hard day and that he has a headache. This got me thinking about what would I do if Garrett ended up with cancer, which lead me down a long rabbit trail of finally thinking about what Christ has done for us. I thought about my sin and evil heart, and how God gave up his son for me while I was yet a sinner. I even wondered to myself if I would have the faith of Abram to give my son up for God, much less to give him up for my enemy.

It really effected me while I was trying to go to sleep last night. I guess what I'm trying to get to here is that, Garrett I really love you. You make me laugh, - love to wrestle with you - even when you hurt me. Most of all, though, you are bringing me closer to our Savior without even knowing. Thank you buddy! I really love you!

Views from a Father

Garrett, I've been doing some thinking about you lately and thinking about your many different personalities. You have the highest highs and the lowest lows. You can be the most lovable boy in the world and then you have other days that can just drive us insane. You screech at the highest decibels that just will make your toes curl, but then you will hug me and tell me that you love me. I wouldn't trade any of the bad moments for fear of losing those moments where I just want to hold you and love on you. I want you to always feel good enough about yourself that you will tell me how you are feeling. I love you pal. I was just looking through some photos on my computer and it made me want to post this blog, and so here are some funny pictures of you at your best times.

Garrett, you are hilarious... You are always just trying to make us laugh, and this was one of those times. (You and your mom are going to kill me when y'all see this picture on the blog.)

Garrett at the breakfast table, during vacation, goofing off and having a little fun at someone else's expense.

Sitting and soakin up the rays at the beach, on vacation.

I love this picture, because I feel like I can see your soul in those wonderful big brown eyes.

I was runnin'. I love the pure joy on your face here buddy.

We really have to capture these moments when you are hugging Esther, because most of the time you are both tormenting each other.

Making one of your funny faces for the camera, again!

This picture is exactly how I want our lives to be. Just you and me walking along, hand in hand, enjoying each others company.

dude, i love that you are all boy.For your birthday, you got a punching bag from grammy and p-pop. last night was a bad night for you because you had eaten cookies all day and really nothing else and the sugar was really getting to you. i had you go into your room with the punching bag and you started doing some ufc moves on the bag. i was so proud and i can't wait for the day you start turning those moves on your friends (ok, so may be i shouldn't teach you how to throw elbows and use your knees to hurt people, but it is a good stress reliever for the both of us). anyway, mom caught you the other day doing some more boy play with some sticks and you don't understand how much enjoyment we get out of watching you play like a boy and use your imagination like a boy. you are so wonderful and we love you so much. here are the pictures of you with the sticks. i love you man!!!

Dude, you just turned 4 yesterday and it feels like it was just yesterday that you were born. I'm so proud of who you are becoming and I am challenged daily to learn how to love you all the more. I am learning just as much about myself as you are about yourself and about life. I am learning how to control my anger as I watch you learn how to be self-controlled as well. I see so much of myself in you and I have to apologize that most of the bad habits that you have, you probably got from me. I love you dude, and I always will. Here's to many more years of birthdays and days that we can laugh and play and wrestle, and to live this life out together learning and loving. Have a good one buddy!

Dude, I know that I haven't kept up with this thing as well as I would have hoped, but you keep me busy so much of the time. I am so glad to be your dad and it is my prayer that you are my son. I was just looking through some pictures of you just here lately and it's a total reminder of how funny and crazy you are. You make me laugh non-stop and you are such a good kid. Hope that when you look at these pictures you'll see the beauty of your personality and your good looks (that you got from me of course :-)

You and Gideon, cheesing for the camera.

I have no idea what this face is about!

You having a little fun at Playworld

Some more fun at Playworld

You riding your sister like a horse.

You even love your Mom (that's okay, I love her too)

memory lane

this picture just scrolled through on my screensaver today, and i was completely amazed at how much garrett has grown up just in the last year. he looks so little here and i can't believe that he is getting so big. call me a big softy, but i don't want to lose these precious years that he is small and that he looks up to his daddy as a hero, who is big and strong and can beat other daddy's up. i just thought that i would take a stroll down memory lane and these pictures are just in the last year. how fast time flies by.

this is garrett eating breakfast when eric and his family came to visit and i still think that garrett looks so young. he has changed so much in the last few months.

this is garrett at a park in holland looking out over his kingdom. garrett is a rough little man and i'm always telling him to stop punching and kicking, but there is a part of me that wants him to keep that fight in him. you see his dad has lost a little of the fight in him, and partly because the society that we live in tells us to stop fighting that it is not good to teach our kids that. garrett, keep fighting and when you get older, you'll be able to beat up your old man, but i'll still love you the same then as i do now.

this is from the other night when he decided that he would be a super hero. he stood up and said, "power in the back." what an imagination. he just makes me smile all the time, even when he is doing something that he knows that he shouldn't be doing.
this is me using him as a human shield. i didn't want jess to take my picture and garrett had just hit the camera and broke it, but mommy got one last shot off. i know that i'm terrible for using him in his pain, but hey, when you don't want your picture taken, you don't want it taken.

garrett, there are going to be days that we fight and that we don't see eye to eye, it is starting to happen more and more as you get older. but i want you to know something. i love you now, and i'll always love you. there will be nothing that you do that will make me stop loving you. as i am writing this, i just got news that there is a teenager that is going into surgery as i write, and i have to say this now, i love you. i don't want you to go into emergency surgery not knowing that. i don't ever want there to be a time that you don't hear me say that. you may have just committed a terrible crime that you are going to be held responsible for, but i want you to know that i love you. you may have just hit your sister, but i want you to know that i love you. there are a lot of men out there that may think i'm a loser for posting this, but i know that a real man is able to say what he wants and i want you to know that i love you. i guess that's all there is to say.

i love you buddy!

i've been thinking about how big garrett is getting. it just seems like yesterday that the little guy was born and now he is three. i know that i haven't been real regular about writing here, but i just felt like i needed to say how much i love him. he's the type of kid who is go, go, go one minute and the next he'll look at you and with so much love, he'll just say, "i love you daddy" it just melts me. garrett, i love you and i want you to know that you are not allowed to get out of this stage of just telling me out of the blue that you love me. you always have to stay that way.